Quit yo’ Bitchin’

So a friend was speaking to me and told me that he feels like a loser, like a quitter, and that he would be better-off “not existing.” I have been through this stage and all before and I must say — just to set things in stone here — that this sort of pathetic, weak thinking can only be destroyed by force.

Not to say that people who are depressed should have their teeth kicked-in, but that there should be the realisation that suicide more often than not is an immoral act. It is a spit in the eye of one’s parents, one’s family and one’s friends; especially in the present times, it is an act of betrayal. A “you guys go on ahead without me, I cannot be bothered to walk alongside you.”

In fact I, after dealing with such a mindset and overcoming it, tend to react angrily with the very thought of other people undergoing it and wallowing in that frame of thinking. It enrages me, the weakness and pitifulness of it all. It makes me physically aggressive to think of the whole affair; my blood boils. Perhaps I have developed this response as a very absolutist way of emotionally approaching my own weakness.

One might awake one day feeling “down” as it were, but I mentally step outside of that room and, looking upon its exterior from the outside, analyse it and see to it that I consciously move in a manner contrary to my inner feelings. If I do not want to get out of bed, I stand up and walk downstairs to make a cup of tea. It is just neurochemistry, thus it is malleable.

The lower consciousness which drives the animal impulses as well as the weaker part of my Self only operates if I allow to do so in a manner of autopiloting — and I can consciously take the wheel whenever I choose. Sometimes the lower nature of man grabs ahold of us all — we are but mere mortals and impulses cannot be left alone to wander (they must be crushed via ascesis or transmuted in the sense of self-knowing; action should be conscious and honest one way or another, not directed by the currents of samsara) — but what is lacking in today’s world is the structures (military aside) which form proper inward character and discipline, so we must work from the ground up to circumvent our hyperfreedom and draw ourselves back into reason and sensibleness. This is no easy task for most but nor is it impossible.

Call this whatever you will — and there are many names for this process and ideas which run parallel to it, mostly spiritual — but the point stands that there is no alternative to self-overbecoming beyond two other options; suicide and “going with the flow.”

Suicide must be ruled-out apart from the most exclusive of circumstances due to it being an active betrayal to one’s family — parents especially — and friends; not to mention one’s potential later Self: the typical young man having these dark thoughts has never truly lived, loved or learned yet and to cut all that off from oneself is naught but illogically naysaying future possibilities.

“Going with the flow” as it were is also an impossibility. One does not reach some unorthodox position and then return to the fold unchanged and untainted. Whether political, philosophical or spiritual, one’s learning even in the briefest period of time has vast consequences. Some are capable of riding the tiger solo but that is an extreme minority; most people — young millennial men in our case — require social and emotional support which is only found through community and true friendship.

In other news, I finally got a fucking haircut.

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2 thoughts on “Quit yo’ Bitchin’”

  1. I’ve never contemplated suicide myself and was shocked, in my teen years, to realize just how many of my friends had suicidal thoughts or tendencies – it was nearly all of them. This was peculiar to me due the fact that their lives were, for all I could observe (and I was quite close with all of them), quite wonderful – good family, plenty of friends, so forth. It seemed ridiculous to me to assume that they all had some kind of neurological disorder so I came to regard this total-abdication as a reaction to a inability to create meaning – I found that in all of these cases my friends were nearly devoid entirely of any creative impulse – no artful spirit. Not of course that suicidal thoughts can be boiled down to a single, interior source – but there is, in every truly downtrodden soul I’ve even met a perceptible lack of intellectual industry – not to say that they are stupid but rather that they lack the fortitude and focus to build much of anything, internally or externally – hence the feeling of uselessness. Thankfully, that has been the extent of my experience with suicide!

    1. Yes, absolutely. The soul motivating factor for these things seems to be the existence of energy, but the lack of direction or structure through which energy is found a purpose, a context. This is one of the facets of modernity it seems; nullification. But it can and must be overcome.

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