Leaving the Womb; Entering the World

I might start — or, I have had ideas of starting — a sort of “Exeter Traditionalist group”; although that is perhaps too specific. An organisation of an arty, spiritual, and politics-interested persuasion as if Counter Currents, The London Forum, the National Policy Institute, the small circle of the Alternative Right I am involved with, and some avant-garde performance art group had a baby. Quite a creature, of course.

This comes partly from a realisation that, since leaving college, I do not have a social life of sorts, and I need to start involving myself in the external world in order to not only finance myself (I am nineteen years old, for goodness’ sake — I should be much more independent than I currently am) but to stimulate further advancement mentally, spiritually and creatively. It is romantic in a bohemian way to assert that I can totally go it (whatever “it” is) alone, but it is at this point naive and unrealistic. Teenage boys require — apart from in the most extraordinary cases — some measure of friendship, companionship, or otherwise relationship with other people in order to develop character and life experience. I do enough talking with others via the internet, but almost zero face-to-face interacting with others beside my family and the odd stranger if I am working or shopping for groceries. This is psychologically and emotionally unhealthy, and even though I have good social skills, there is the risk of things deteriorating if left unchallenged for long enough a period.

I am introverted by nature. I do not enjoy small-talk, or large groups of people, et cetera; yet I cannot trap myself in my own mind at all times. There must exist beyond my Self fuel with which to propel my own motion, at least at this point. There must be Becoming on some level. Further development can only come to me by knowing, not reading or thinking. I must have inclinations born within, not without. And a seed can only be planted by a second party insomuch as taught, shown or forced. I must bend to the right winds, not be confined to my own freedom.

I absolutely hate this society. I loathe it. I want to destroy it, burn it down, mutilate and maim it. I cannot go into the city center without getting tense and anxious and angry at every second thing I see. There must be a way around that, or a way to channel, direct or transmute such — by themselves, worthless — emotions, and that way should involve other bodies, other persons, other people, at this point in my life.

Nevertheless, if there are individuals in Exeter, in England, who are of a far-Right, artistic, or otherwise curious persuasion, please contact me my any means (my Skype ID is “unionabsolution”) so that something real may spawn. It is about due time for it.

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